Practical Peacemaking Week 4: Working Cooperatively to Transform Conflict into Peace (Intro to Mediation)
During Week 1 of our Practical Peacemaking series, we discussed the idea of having five main choices for addressing conflict in our lives: avoiding, accommodating, compromising, competing, and collaborating. As the most skill intensive and character demanding of the five approaches, collaborating will be our focus this week as we learn to engage with others in the facilitative negotiation setting of mediation.
Nelson Mandela once said, “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.” Even in intensely trying circumstances, Mandela knew he needed to engage with those who opposed him to make progress toward his respective goals of justice, equity, and freedom for his people and country of South Africa. Rather than only compete head on to dominate those who opposed him, Mandela repeatedly sat down at the table with opponents. Together, they negotiated to find real solutions to the problems they faced despite their seemingly divergent goals and values.
Defining terms
Mediation is a form of facilitative negotiation based on assisted collaboration. In this structured communication process, we represent our personal needs in a cooperative exchange with an opponent who seeks to advocate for their own respective needs. Rather than try to dominate or submit to one another, in mediation, we follow several fluid steps to create mutually satisfying agreements for both parties. In place of a judge, a mediator works as a process advocate to balance parties’ powers to help everyone arrive at viable solutions that work outside of the conference room (or Zoom space).
Recognizing that even 98-99% of court cases actually settle outside of a trial via negotiation, we arm ourselves for peacemaking by learning how to negotiate in ways designed to resolve parties’ perceived incompatible goals. While we will not learn to negotiate/mediate overnight, gradually, we will develop the skills that prepare us to confront major issues in constructive ways so that even our opponents may experience greater peace and understanding.
As a structured form of collaboration, effective mediation relies upon several key communication skills:
- Agreeing to ground rules within a structured communication process
- Listening attentively to those we oppose
- Framing each other’s issues as joint problems to resolve
- Brainstorming ideas that reflect the goals and values of all parties
- Selecting options that are workable in the real world
- Drafting verbal or written agreements that are mutually satisfying to both parties
To accelerate our growth as collaborative negotiators, we will explore and practice the skills mentioned above during our Thursday GROW this week. As you learn about how to use each of these mediation skills in context, you will gain the ability to be much more influential in creating the conditions for peace.
Week 4 exercise
To begin this week’s journey, we encourage you to check out this variety of conflict resolution self-assessment tools, ranging from the topics of “conflict intelligence” to “conflict resilience quotient.”
Learning more
Ready to learn more about peacemaking? Check out the Practical Peacemaking course in the MWEG Portal!
